Skittles: Taste the Scarab
by rishi-is-a-spinda
Summary: Khaji Da tries to learn the absurd traditions that humans have in order to better coexist with his host, Jaime. (JaimexBart)
1. Chapter 1

Title: Skittles: Taste the Scarab  
Summary: Khaji Da tries to learn the absurd traditions that humans have in order to better coexist with his host, Jaime.  
Pairing: Bluepulse (JaimeXBart)  
Word Count: 773  
Rating: E for everyone, at the moment  
A/N: The title means nothing! I asked my usual beta (who is not betaing this, yay self editing- I'm screwed) and that was the first thing she threw at me as a joke and I decided to use it! This takes place two years after the invasion, Bart and Jaime aren't a couple...yet. Oh! If anyone can guess who Golden Skittle is, they win a cookie. (I hope I got his personality kinda right).

Anyways, hope you enjoy. And if you see something wrong/off feel free to let me know?

* * *

Golden Skittle entered the chat.  
Azulescarabajo entered the chat.

Golden Skittle: Good morning, Little bug. Today's the big day?

Azulescarabajo: Affirmative, but there seems to be a malfunction with my host and we are not attending.

Azulescarabajo: He is experiencing an increase in body temperature, discharge from his nostrils and constantly requires sleep.

Golden Skittle: Sounds like your 'host' is experiencing the flu.

Azulescarabajo: I believe it's the Reach equivalent of the black plague.

Azulescarabajo:...Flu?

Golden Skittle: Yes, it's quite a common human ailment. Very disgusting and- here let me grab you a link.

Azulescarabajo: I am well aware of the contagion known as the flu.

Azulescarabajo: With the excess amount of complaints he was issuing, I believed it was fatal.

Golden Skittle: guessthatillness .fake /flu

Azulescarabajo: Previous data indicates that the link was unnecessary.

Golden Skittle: Sorry, didn't see that. I retract the link and sincere feelings behind it.

Golden Skittle: That was sarcasm by the way.

Azulescarabajo: Yes, I was aware of that and as much as I appreciate your lessons on the conversational techniques of humans, I do not have the patience for it today. Farewell.

Golden Skittle: Wait. What day is today?

Azulescarabajo: Answering is unnecessary. I am leaving.

Golden Skittle: Indulge me. What's the number?

Azulescarabajo: It is the twenty-fifth day of the seventh month of the year 2018.

Golden Skittle: asdfghjkl! Then you have to go!

Azulescarabajo: I do not see why this is of importance. Nor does the mashing of those keys make any sense.

Golden Skittle: Oh come on, trust me. Today's important. It shouldn't be canceled because- I kind of can't tell you.

Azulescarabajo: And I am suppose to adhere to you because you and your companion are from the future as you have stated several lunar cycles ago- which is highly improbable.

Golden Skittle: Your host's friend is from the future, why is it so hard for you to believe.

Azulescarabajo: Improbable does not equal impossible.

Azulescarabajo: ...I have not granted you that knowledge. How did you obtained it?

Golden Skittle: That's not important right now. Didn't you come into this chat looking for help? To learn more about human interactions to better coexist with your 'host'. Take it from me, this will help you.

Azulescarabajo: I suppose you might be correct.

Golden Skittle: Of course I am. Now go out there and Carpe Diem.

* * *

Khaji Da severed his connection to the Reyes' wireless internet after a search for quick cures for the flu. The search proved unfruitful. Just a lot rubbish that only imbeciles would believe, or the desperate. His robotic antibodies were doing little to help his host but he hadn't surprised since the organic beings he was most compatible with were his makers- the Reach.

And there was his host, Jaime Reyes, where he had been for the last hour- on his bed, curled into the fetal position around a bucket. To think they'd be on their own without his parental units in about a year. It did not bode well.

_Productive levels are too low- an increase in physical output is advised. You and Bart Allen have spent an unacceptable amount of time planning this tryst to be absent._

Jaime grumbled something even the scarab's sensors couldn't decipher.

_Jaime Reyes._

"I said I already told him I couldn't make it," he groaned.

_T__hen inform him you were in error._

"It's not that I don't want to go but," a spasm of coughs interrupted him. "I'm too sick."

_Irrelevant. It is vital we attend._

"But he could catch-"

_Only virus 18793 of the Reach Gamma Production would prove effective at invading the speedster's immune system and causing such...malfunctions. _('tiny' print, fast talking medical warning)_ Unforeseen symptoms may include discoloration of skin and an increase in muscle mass in less than 2 of 15,000,000,000 test subjects. Reach Scientists are to be advised and have a least 3 scarab units on standby when administering the virus._ Khaji da informed him, feeling obligated to inform Jaime to the side effects of something they were never likely to come across.

"Aye dios mio. I'm not doing this. We are not going and that's it," the Hispanic teen muttered, curling tighter around the bucket. His eyes flickered shut a few times before he finally fell asleep, most likely thanks to the medicine his maternal unit had forced down his throat half an hour ago.

It was then that Khaji Da decided to do something he swore to Jaime that he would never do, unless it was an emergency. This was an emergency, of sorts. He took control of Jaime's body.

_Apologizes, Jaime Reyes, but the mission must continue._


	2. Chapter 2

**I like writing Bart's pov because I can ramble and it's perfectly fine...most of the time.**

**I'm planning on having the chat appear every other chap. As for who Golden Skittle is ((don't read this if you don't want to know yet)) Booster Gold is actually really close. I was aiming for Skeets, though I've only read like two comics with him in it, so I'm half guessing his personality and going by what wiki has to tell me.**

**I figured Khaji Da could get onto the internet with no problems. He's an alien scarab, I honestly have no idea where his capabilities could end so...yeah.**

**If you see any problems or have any questions, let me know.**

* * *

To say that Bart was disappointed when Jaime had canceled their date would have been an understatement. Yeah, sure, he was worried about him and was hoping he'd get better but they'd had been planning their first date for like ever. Well more like a month but that was just like forever to a speedster.

So there was Bart, moping on his bed like a puppy who couldn't find his favorite chew toy when Jaime texted him informing him the date was on again. The speedster was so ecstatic that he began vibrating on his bed. And he found a surefire way to freak out his guardians, come vibrating through the ceiling to crash into the couch- laughing like a madman all the while. When he calmed himself, the auburn got ready in a flash- answering questions from both a concerned Joan and Jay. Then he was off.

He found himself at the entrance of the theme park half an hour before the date was to start. The speedster huffed, dragging his hands through his hair- trying to tame it. Maybe running here wasn't the greatest idea. Sure, the windswept look was cute but this was their first date. Whether going back in time to save the world or a date, impressions were important. Always. And he wanted this date to be perfect.

Especially considering he had had a crush on the guy for the last two years. Longer actually but he was sure that in some circles it was frowned upon to crush on the person you were trying to save from becoming a bad guy. Not that he blamed Jaime for what he was going to do/had done- changing the timeline was so confusing. Point was, dude was totally on mode, which meant not his fault.

Besides, who could blame Bart for falling for Jaime? The guy was perfect. Not only was Jaime super nice- letting Bart scavenger chicken whizzes from him- he also cared about his family. Even if he did overly complain about his little sister. He was tolerant- who else could put up with Bart when the others felt he was too 'annoying'- intelligent, bilingual, charming, dandy, funny, incredible, friendly and just in general being so crash. That didn't even include how cute the Hispanic teen was, especially considering how often he went shirtless under the scarab armor.

He would not think about shirtless Jaime. Nope, not happening. Not gonna think about his flawless skin, perfect abs. Not about how sexy his voice was when it's colored with that Hispanic accent of his, or when he peppers a sentence with Spanish. No, no, no. Bad speedster. Getting himself hot and bothered before their date wasn't going to help anything. And Bart was pretty sure jumping your date as soon as he appeared wasn't a socially accepted norm. He totally wished it was, though.

Bart shoved his hands into his pockets with a groan. Why was waiting so hard? When was Jaime getting here? And why did everyone stare at him while they went in? Was there something wrong with him? Was his fly unzipped? He checked quickly. Nope. Then why-

The sound of someone clearing his voice next to him caused the speedster to jump, forcing him from his thoughts. His green eyes lit up as he took in the sight of the teen next to him. Jaime was wearing these really tight pair of jeans- which Bart vaguely remembered were called skinny jeans before he wished the older teen wore something tighter on top too instead of the sweater. But hey, scarab on his back- what could Bart expect him to do.

"Geez, way to scare me, her-man-o," Bart teased.

"Greetings."

Bart felt his lips twitch. That was...odd. That wasn't the response the auburn had expected. Usually they would 'banter' or Jaime would at least make a comment on Bart's bad Spanish, or roll his eyes. Perhaps Jaime was nervous. Bart couldn't fault him for that, being nervous himself.

"You're late," Bart complained, though he knew Jaime wasn't. He grabbed the other's hand and practically dragged him along, though he could almost swear he heard the Hispanic teen mumble something about arriving at the designated time. He chose to ignore that. As they arrived at the ticket booth, Bart already had the money out to pay for their entrance- which earned him a grunt of disapproval from Jaime. He sent the older teen a teasing glare as he said, "Hey, you didn't think I was going to let you pay for everything, did you? Not happening."

He playfully waged a finger of his free hand at Jaime- as if scolding him. After the worker stamp both their hands, Bart dragged him among the crowd. His eyes darted all around, debating what to do first. When deciding where their date was going to be, there had been several choices and some members of the team may have thrown in their ideas to- really, how the team found out and decided it was their business too, Bart would never know. But as soon as the idea of theme parks and fairs came up, the speedster had admitted he had never been to one. Can't quite expect someone to go to one when they didn't exist in the future. Plus the last two years hadn't quite given him a chance too.

But due to that, Cassie insisted they go to the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland. Bart was almost one hundred percent sure that wasn't the happiest place on Earth but before he could dispute that claim, Jaime shot the idea down. He thought they should go to something smaller, less crowded. Thus how they had ended up at a state fair. Though it still seemed rather busy, but there was rides and games and Bart could distinctly smell food of all different varieties being fried. Alright, if this was anything like Disneyland, then maybe the speedster could see how it was the happiest place on Earth. Though, maybe any place with Jaime could be considered that, he debated silently to himself.

Normally, if Bart had been by himself, he would have zipped from one place to another- exploring the whole fair within seconds. But he wasn't. He was here if Jaime and as much as going slow pained him, Bart was bent on staying at the Hispanic's pace.

About to ask where the other wanted to go first, Bart felt Jaime's hand tightened on his. He shifted his gaze over to the older teen, green eyes widening at what he saw. Cheeks tinted red, the Hispanic teen had his eyes averted from Bart- his hand warm and a little clammy. The speedster blinked his eyes several times, slowly- processing what he was seeing.

Jaime really was nervous? Was that possible? A mixture of joy and a tiny bit of dread coiled in his stomach. Yeah, it was crash that Jame was nervous. It made Bart feel kind of giddy. But would Jaime spend all their date averting his gaze, refusing to look at the speedster? Would their conversations become awkward?

Bart sighed, his lips curling into a smile- coming to a decision. He never accomplished anything just standing around worrying about it. His own hand tightened around Jaime's as he pulled him along. "Let's go on that," Bart said, pointing to a rather structurally unsound looking Matterhorn.

Jaime said something but the sound of his voice was lost in the roar of the crowd. Bart looked back at him, hoping he'd repeat it but nothing. With a shrug, the speedster continued on. After the Matterhorn, Bart dragged him on other rides when Jaime made no move to suggest one or another activity. He took him on the teacups, wipeout, tilt-a-whirl and the gravitron. After each ride, Jaime seemed to get progressively more wobbly in his step. When Bart suggested food, the Hispanic teen refused- letting the speedster eat by himself. Really, you'd think a guy who got thrown around by villains on almost a daily basis would have a stronger stomach.

Bart began to think of what to do next after he had eaten his fill- not really. If he tried, Bart was sure he could eat every scrap of food in the place. If only there was an eating contest. Garfield informed him that sometimes these things had such events. This one, sadly, didn't. But how crash would that have been? Eating his fill, possibly winning a prize just for doing something that came naturally to a speedster. Speaking of prizes, Bart figured it was time to try some of the games. He was sure he saw one of the games- a shoot the target one- had a stuffed Blue Beetle as a prize. It was so not weird that he wanted it...right?

Several failed tries later and Bart put down the game's gun with a disappointed grunt. Faintly he remembered Tim had warned them- well, him- that the games at such places were rigged, making them nearly impossible to win. Well, that was certainly moding.

"Plasma canons would be more effective."

Bart's body froze for less than half a second as his brain processed what Jaime had said, the sound of his armor deploying accompanied it. Within a heartbeat, the speedster was by the older teen's side, locking his arms to his sides. "What the hell, Jaime?" he hissed, glaring at him. It was the first time during the whole date that Jaime had met his eyes. His brown eyes were hazy and, coupling that with what Bart thought were nerves, the auburn's mind came to a conclusion. "You're still sick," he accused, pressing a hand to Jaime's forehead- the heat confirming his suspicions.

"That-"

"You shouldn't have forced yourself to come. I'm taking you home." He could have kicked himself for being so stupid. How did he not notice? This was almost as bad as not noticing when Blue had gone on mode right away. Almost. While mentally scolding himself, Bart dragged Jaime through the crowd- meeting little resistance from the older teen. Once outside the fair, Bart took them to a place where they couldn't be seen before picking up Jaime bridal style. He ignored the clicking like sounds of protest that he made. It was oddly familiar but Bart decided to store it in the back of his mind to process later.

Turns out food did wonders for a malnourished teen with a quick metabolism. Still, he knew he couldn't carry the older teen all the way back to either of their places. But the speedster was sure he could at least carry Jaime to the nearest zeta tube and then to the Hispanic's house. And he did. As he set Jaime back onto his feet at his door, Bart moved to open the door. The feel of Jaime's burning hand on his arm stopped him.

He snapped his green eyes to him in question. Jaime swayed unsteadily on his feet. "It was...enjoyable."

"Of course it was. But don't think it's over. Now I get to play nurse and-"

"No."

Bart frowned at the refusal. "But-" Jaime's eyes seemed clear, intent, focused- cutting him off from saying anything else. "Fine," he muttered with a sigh. Bart zipped in and place a soft kiss onto his cheek. Holding back a laugh, he watched as Jaime blinked a few times in surprise before heading inside.

He wanted to stay. To take care of him. Feed him soup. Put a wet washcloth on his head. To hold his hand while he slept. But he was being denied that. He'd just have to sneak back and check on Jaime later tonight. That's what bros- er, boyfriends did, right?


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Khaji Da tries to learn the absurd traditions that humans have in order to better coexist with his host, Jaime.

Pairing: Bluepulse (JaimeXBart)

Word Count: 816~

Rating: E for everyone

A/N: Wow, a month. Beyond the whole Khaji Da seeking help online for learning about humans and the whole taking over Jaime's body for a date, I don't really have a plot planned out for this. I'm thinking about having the plot cross over with my From Lightning to Fire fic- but I'd do it to where you wouldn't need to read the other to know what's happening. Any opinions/thoughts/suggestions/what not is appreciated.

And thank you to everyone who read and/or reviewed. They made me happy- especially the ones who said I did Bart good. / And thanks qweerlittlefish for liking my profile pic!

New chat characters. Most of the chat people will be, uh, non-organics (i hate using that word but for a lack of a better one, it'll have to do).

* * *

GoldenSkittle entered the chat.

GoldenSkittle: 3

GoldenSkittle: 2

GoldenSkittle: 1

Azulescarabajo entered the chat.

GoldenSkittle: Right on time.

GoldenSkittle: So...

GoldenSkittle: How'd it go?

Azulescarabajo: It was adequate.

GoldenSkittle: Adequate? I know you have better adjectives than that.

GoldenSkittle: Did you kiss and now you can't tell?

GoldenSkittle: I'm taking your silence as confirmation.

GeometricGoddess entered the chat

Azulescarabajo: You are asinine.

GeometricGoddess: I'm...sorry. D:

GeometricGoddess leaves.

Azulescarabajo: Did you have foreknowledge of her arrival?

GoldenSkittle: I did but I didn't think she'd pop up right then. Hold on, I'll go get her back.

GeometricGoddess entered the chat.

GeometricGoddess: Skittle explained everything. You guys were having a lover's spat.

GeometricGoddess: Whatever he did, please forgive him?

Azulescarabajo: You were misinformed.

GeometricGoddess: O.O You were the one who did something wrong?

GeometricGoddess: That's so unlike you.

GeometricGoddess: What did you do?

Azulescarabajo: You're taking immense pleasure in this.

GoldenSkittle: I am.

GoldenSkittle: GG, I was actually bugging him to know how his 'host's' date went.

GeometricGoddess: That's right! That was yesterday, wasn't it? How'd it go? ^.^

Azulescarabajo: It was adequate

GeometricGoddess: That doesn't sound...that good. What happened?

GeometricGoddess: Elaborate please.

GeometricGoddess: One of you tell me, now.

GoldenSkittle: Well...his host came down with a, uh, bug.

GeometricGoddess: Oh my gosh! Is he okay? W

GeometricGoddess: Is there anything we can do?

GeometricGoddess: Wait, how'd he go on the date then? O.o

Azulescarabajo: The most pertinent coarse of action was to commandeer his body and attend the event in his stead.

GeometricGoddess: I'm 100 percent certain that's what you do not do in that situation. :(

GeometricGoddess: Why didn't you stop him, Skittle?

GoldenSkittle: It..might have been my plan.

GeometricGoddess: Sometimes I wonder how intelligent you two really are. :/

Azulescarabajo: It went well but he realized my host was ill and forced us home. Then he invaded my host's sleeping chambers to tend to him while he slept.

GeometricGoddess: Awww that's sweet. .

GoldenSkittle: I find it disturbing.

GeometricGoddess: Sush you.

LivingEmerald entered the chat.

LivingEmerald: I am waiting.

LivingEmerald has left the chat.

GeometricGoddess: I'm beginning to worry about her.

GeometricGoddess: She's been doing that a lot lately.

GeometricGoddess: Do you think somethings wrong?

GoldenSkittle: Don't worry. She'll be fine.

GoldenSkittle: How have your organics been?

GeometricGoddess: Oh! Just wonderful! :D

GeometricGoddess: S. Boy and M.M. have a date tonight.

GeometricGoddess: Well, it's not actually a date but close enough.

* * *

"You can't just do that," his host growled, keeping his voice low- lest he disturb his family downstairs. Even though the whole Reyes household knew about the alien scarab fused to his spine, Jaime liked to keep the whole talking- arguing- with Khaji Da in front of them to a minimum. Seemed rather pointless to the Khaji Da, who voiced that opinion on more than one occasion, though not this one.

_The situation called for extreme actions, therefore-_

"Ay dios mio, no. It was just a date. It waited a month, it could wait a few more days," Jaime sighed. Khaji Da choose to ignore the several Spanish words that followed. If his host's maternal unit had heard, Khaji Da was sure Jaime would've been reprimanded for them.

_But you have been pining after Bart Allen for two years and four months, two hours, five minutes and seventeen seconds._

"Your math's kinda wrong there, ese. I didn't start liking Bart till about a year ago."

_That statement is incorrect, Jaime Reyes. Upon your first visual reception of Bart Allen, your pulse rate increased slightly, among other changes in your physical well being. At the time I thought it was a dormant virus. It wasn't until recently when the symptoms increased and the cause became apparent._

His host sighed and words that were a rebuttal slipped out quietly, though half-heartedly. Khaji Da was pleased that for once Jaime was not going to put up a fight at the blatant truth he presented. Too many times throughout the years Jaime debated with him over the facts he provided to the human.

_The Impulse came to tend to you during your ailment last night._

"Stop calling him Impulse, por favor. I'm going to end up calling him that rather than Kid Flash one of these days."

To Khaji Da, the Impulse was Impulse, not Kid Flash. Not yet anyway. Not until Bart felt like he was Kid Flash. Until then, he was Impulse to him. It was almost humorous that Jaime hadn't picked up on how uncomfortable the speedster was taking on the mantle of his deceased cousin. Almost.

A few seconds later, Jaime added in a much quieter voice, "He didn't notice? That I was- You were-"

_Negative. He was preoccupied with nervousness from the date, followed by fretting over the physical condition of your body._ Khaji Da felt more than heard Jaime's sigh of relief. _Perhaps you should inform him of your recovery._


End file.
